Lorem Witnus: Announcing Jehovah's Placeholder Text!

If you're a graphic designer or art director, you've probably used "Lorem Ipsum" text as placeholder text while you were waiting for the writer to get off his or her rear and provide you with actual content. Well, here's some dummy text just for (ex) Jehovah's Witnesses!

A Copyblock to All the Nations

Preach first the dolor sit amet, and all these other things will be adipiscing elit. Awake! What does the placeholder text really say? Millions now living will never read these words. Please be assured of our warm love and Christian conscience. Watchtower, Bible and dummy text. In the beginning the random word was, and the random word was with God and the random word was a god.

A letter from far away placeholders. Iron lung. Sit in four door vehicula justo. Examining the tight pants daily. From Lorem to Ipsum. New World Translation of the Greek text. Disfellowshipping the flock under your care. Sing Praises to the Governing Body. Keep your eyes on the return visit. Theocratic order. Stay alive till 75! Beware of independent thinking! Punctuation — Is it for You?

Kingdom Hall. 1914. Pay attention to yourselves and to all of Babylon the Great Crowd. Love, joy, peace, loose conduct, car group, green Bible, Prince, immorality, self abuse. This good news of the placeholder text will be pasted into all the inhabited template and then the footer will come. Home but hiding. Multilanguage Electronic Phototypesetting System! Pretty much the entire book of 2 Chronicles is placeholder text. Or is it 1 Chronicles?

Masturbation — Its Grand Climax At Hand!

Then I shall give to peoples the change to a pure copyblock, in order for them all to call upon the name of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Mentally diseased. Lift up your eyes and see that the fields are white. Sparlock. Loving provision! To whom do you belong? Men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of coffee breaks, self amusing, naughty, blaxploitatious, disabusers of opiates, thankful, loyal, having no natural affectation, not open to any argument, salamanders, without cruise control, fears, without ghoulishness, bedwetters, headweak, puffed up with H. R. Pufnstuf, lovers of pleather rather than lovers of gold, having a form of goodwill shopping but only on discount Tuesdays, and from these turn, baby, turn.

This paragraph actually appeared in a 2005 issue of the Watchtower magazine: “A sister wrote: ‘Please accept my gift of crocheted hats that I made with my own two little hands. I would like these hats to be given to the workers who are working on the Wallkill project. An almanac said it’s going to be a very bad winter. Whether they’re right or not, I don’t know. But I know that much of the work at Wallkill will be done outside, and I want to make sure that my brothers and sisters will keep their head warm. I don’t have any of the skills that the brothers are looking for, but I can crochet, so I decided to use this skill to contribute what I could.’ Enclosed were 106 crocheted hats!”