The Story of N

Posted by Joel Gunz
(Deepest apologies for the weird layout -- I can't figure out how to make this video fit properly on the page.)

Three years ago or so, "N", then 18, posted a series of interviews on YouTube describing her life as a Jehovah's Witness and what happened when she left. Her story is articulate, funny, sad, courageous and spot on. After a month or two, however, she decided to remove the videos from the Web. In the words of YouTube member Publishing Cult, here's why:
"While the videos were met with mostly loving encouragement , appreciation, and support from ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, Jehovah's Witness and ex-Jehovah's Witness trolls alike descended on this young girl's youtube channel like vultures. Their attacks were often viscous and sexually degrading. The subject of the interview was mortified at some of the hateful and rude comments and asked that they be taken down."
I remember some the hateful responses she received. "I can't wait to see your face burn off when Armageddon comes," and name-calling such as "slut" and "whore" spring most clearly to mind. Turns out that Jesus was right: "Men will expel you from the synagogue. In fact, the hour is coming when everyone that kills you will imagine he has rendered a sacred service to God." (John 16:2, NWT)

N recently decided to allow the videos to return to YouTube and is permitting them to be reposted so others can benefit from them -- provided all comments are first approved and filtered of hate speech. I found these videos to be helpful and I'm glad shes' agreed to have them reposted. I hope you enjoy them too.


  1. Thank you N, for allowing these to be reposted. I was raised Jehovah's Witness myself and was disfellowshipped over a decade ago. My family is still in the cult and it's crazy the way I am ignored. There have been times my mom was in the hospital and I get the news second hand because no one will call me to tell me. I am glad to see you didn't let them win and keep you from telling the real truth to the world. You are AWESOME!

  2. thank you for posting these. it makes me proud to see more and more people speaking out like this, and gives me more courage to speak out although i've been "out of the truth" for over 10 years. i wish i'd had the courage to leave when i was 15 like "N". instead, i stuck around, kept secrets about having been molested by another JW, became depressed and suicidal, and let myself be talked into getting baptized. a decision that affected (and will still affect) me for the rest of my life. thankfully, i came to my senses soon afterwards, requested that i be disfellowshipped, and was able to rebuild a life for myself. i still deal with a lot of fallout, but the friends and family i've made help support me on a daily basis.
    to this day, i remember being out in service and talking to an older woman who opened her door to me. she said "i'm roman would YOU like it if i came to your door every saturday morning and told you your religion was wrong?" i had no idea what to say to her, because i knew she was right. that stuck with me until the day i left.

  3. Hey Larry and Amy -

    Just saw your notes, thanks for dropping by! I, too, wish I'd had the courage to leave when I was 15. Took me another 20 years!


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